I'm Sick

I'm sick, and haven't been around for a while. I have this auto-immune disease that I thought I was well rid of, that has come back with a vengeance. My hands and feet are swollen and sore, my bones ache, I'm exhausted for no reason. I've been worrying that maybe my toenails may pop right off.

Last week I had a bit of a cry because I thought something was seriously wrong, like kidney or liver failure. The doctor said it was unlikely, but possible and ran some tests. I hate this so much. I don't like being sick, and even more I hate obsessing about what awful things could be happening to my body.

I love the internet but one thing it is not good at is reassuring you that you are going to be ok when you enter your symptoms in diagnose-me.com or whatever ("your symptoms indicate you have.......Ebola"). It just fuels my anxiety. I need to just stop it.

I'm such a drama queen most of the time anyway that when I am sick I feel very sorry for myself and pull the whole dying swan routine. This morning, walking to the bathroom , my feet were hurting and I thought to myself "I'm just like The Little Mermaid!" and had a little sob. Seriously how much more self-pitying can you get than that!

Speaking of The Little Mermaid, look at these stunning illustrations by Sulamith Wulfing:

All images from this tribute site.

Interestingly enough, my all time favourite, Stevie Nicks, found inspiration in these paintings and then created the cover art for this album. Funny how you see something and it resonates with you and then realise that it's connected to another thing that really resonates with you.

Anyway this was meant to be a post about MY sickness and now it's ended up being about art and Stevie Nicks. Go figure. Anyway I'm going to the post office now to do some chores and try and cheer myself up.

Here's a clip from that album: